Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Los Angeles: GET YOUR MOLES CHECKED, BUT DON'T RIDE THE ELEVATORS!


Both parents had skin cancer, I live and work underneath the sun here in HelLA, and i am a recovery tanorexic from my teenage years, (There was definitly a time in my life when looking like an orange peel from the jersey shore was appealing to me, but now i save my tans for vacations and auditions only people!), so it its ULTRA important for me to get my yearly dermatalogical appt. AND SO SHOULD EVERYBODY, MELANOMA IS THE MOST COMMON CANCER IN YOUNG ADULTS! Anyway, I made my way to UCLA medical center today with my love, James, and somehow found myself on the 5th floor of the building experiencing some intense rattling in the elevator. Could this really be happening? an earthquake in an elevator? No way. That's my worst nightmare. As I exited the elevator, i just tried to ignore eveything that may or may not be happening to me, and walked into an office ready to burn some damn moles off! The ladies stared at me as I walked up to the counter with these freakish faces and when I got to the front i was then informed, that yes, a 5.4 earthquake had just hit. Hmmm, perfect. So i did anything anyone in their right mind would do, say ok gotta go! and book it down 7 flights of stairs. About 20 mins later I came back up, totally embarrassing. The ladies told me how cute I was for being so scared and running away. Ewww, this was not a time to belittle me, this was a time to praise me for being the only bitch that had the smarts to get the hell outta there. Have fun filing, stapling and flying out of a 20 story building, I'll be using my common sense all the way down to level G. So hey, good news, I got a precancerous mole cut off and survived one of my worst nightmares. Who knew that on my first day of blogging, i'd have so much to say! So peeps, try a mystic tan and take the freakin' stairs for cryin out loud, this is effin' LA.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Have Lost My VIRGINITY...to blogging

I'm learning that it's the little outlets in life that relieve the stress, like taking your hair out of a ponytail, finding the remote right by the tv, seeing a John and Kate plus 8 marathon, and now, aparently, blogging. I've resisted blogging for a few years now, thinking it was strictly for nerds and people without friends. It was then I realized it was perfect for me. just kidding. Actually, my fabulous friend Tony Spatafora (spatagram.blogspot.com) has inspired me to create one. If I can be half as verbally creative and emotionally expressive as him, I'm in good shape. So, after my time resisting the blog, it turned out after all this time, I wasn't too good for it, but rather, intimidated. Is there really a public space where I can say whatever I damn well please without interuption, or a man named Tom deleting my debatably pornographic photos from college? This is like the childhood I never had. wonderful. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Whitney, also known as Whitnefied to my craziest and most outrageous friends; a singer, songwriter, actress, waitress, college graduate, and now....BLOGGER. It's happening.